I think we might be onto something....

Steven had a C/T scan of his abdomen and pelvic area done Monday evening and I called for his results this afternoon. I *think* we got good news…in a way. Basically, they couldn’t find anything wrong. His kidney looked all normal-like and there weren’t any weird things floating around inside him. So at this point his urologist wants him to have his testosterone levels checked again. Way back when we had our first IUI and found out that his numbers were low he had been put on Clomid to try to boost testosterone production. So if his numbers come back low (which we already know they are) the urologist will either have him take Clomid (pills) or HCG shots a couple times a week for six weeks. This SHOULD improve his numbers. I really hope this is the case and that his numbers will improve to the point of us being able to move forward with an IUI instead of going straight to IVF. So he’ll have labwork done this weekend hopefully and we’ll know soon enough what he needs to be doing.

I’ve been thinking a lot about what’s going on and have had it in my mind that we are going to end up having to do IVF.  A friend of mine asked me today if I was against (I think that was her wording) IVF because of the cost or because of the process itself. I understand that there are some people out there who are opposed to IVF for religious reasons or because they aren’t comfortable with invasive medical procedures like that, but I am definitely not one of those people. Not saying they are wrong for feeling that way– I don’t mean it to sound that way if it does. My personal thoughts are that I don’t care what needs to be done to get us a baby at this point. I was also a growth hormone patient. They made me grow, lol, so I have a different viewpoint and trust in the medical community than some might.

If IVF is what we have to do then so be it, but that doesn’t mean that I am excited to be faced with that news. IVF IS more invasive – incredibly more invasive than IUI and it is also incredibly more expensive. That really is my hang up with it – the cost. No one would be excited about that. BUT I’m not going to let myself get worked up about this until I absolutely know for  sure that it is what we absolutely have to do. No let’s all just keep our fingers crossed that we don’t have to go there, k? =)

And Still We Wait...

It was later than I said it would be, but Steven went in to be checked out yesterday. No blockages, prostate is a-ok, and no problemos with his bladder. Sooooo....what's going on? That's what we want to know! The urologist wants Steven to go in for a CT scan of his abdomen area to see if anything odd stands out. Obviously I want to know what's causing his "issues", but at the same time I'm trying not to...not "freak out" necessarily...become overly-concerned. It was good that his results from yesterday came back good, but that also means that more looking has to be done. Steven is out of town for the next couple of days and will be out of town a few days next week, so we're hoping to get the CT scan taken care of before he leaves again next week. We just want answers! And at this point we're getting closer and closer to me having to go in again to check up on mah uterus...so it'd be good to get him figured out.

So that's it...not a long post, but an update!

Cilantro-Lime Chicken with Avocado Salsa= Happy Tongue

Another Pinterest hit!!! Tonight we had cilantro-lime chicken with avocado salsa. It was so freakin’ GOOD! We are big fans of avocado and lemon so this was right up our alley. I would suggest this to anyone and everyone. Besides it being super tasty delicious, I hit it big nutrionally! The salsa for this dish has tomatoes, which are abundant with nutrients; onion, which are rich in vitamins; and cilantro, which is rich in vitamins, oils, and minerals. Score! For several months we were sharing an avocado every night with dinner. Steven and I like ours topped with lemon juice and sea salt…so good.  It feels really good to like something that is so good for you! According to the California Avocado Commission each avocado provides nearly 20 essential nutrients including fiber, potassium, Vitamin E, B-vitamins and folic acid. Also, avocados were known as “fertility fruit” or “the fruit of kings” to the Aztecs because it was thought to increase a man’s ability to father children. In fact, according to www.justmommies.com , “avocados are largely used to treat infertility in men (because) it helps increase sperm mobility and keeps sperm from grouping together as they make their journey to the egg.”  Avocados aren’t only beneficial for men’s fertility. They are also packed full of folic acid, which women want plenty of to aid in the prevention of birth defects. Avocados are also a source of monounsaturated fat, which is a good fat for our bodies. So load up on the guac, y’all! It’s good for ya!

Cilantro-Lime Chicken and Avocado Salsa

Here’s what you need:

Chicken Marinade:

4 boneless skinless chicken breasts (I only used two and I cut them into smaller pieces so that it would cook quicker.)
2 tbsp finely chopped fresh cilantro
2 ½ tbsp fresh lime juice
1 ½ tbsp olive oil
½ tsp salt
Cooking spray or additional olive oil for the pan

Salsa:

1 cup chopped plum tomato (2 should do)
2 tbsp finely chopped white onion
2 tsp fresh lime juice
¼ tsp salt
1/8 tsp black pepper
1 avocado, peeled and chopped
Additional fresh lime juice for avocado

Here’s what you do:

First you will make a marinade for the chicken. Mix together all of the ingredients for the marinade (minus the cooking spray or additional olive oil) and add the chicken. This is a pretty strong marinade so only leave the chicken in for 3-5 minutes.

While the chicken is sitting in the marinade prepare the salsa by mixing all of those ingredients together. The avocado will go in last. Avocado has a tendency to get brown and yucky looking pretty quickly once it is peeled so I thoroughly coated mine in additional lime juice prior to gently mixing it into the salsa mixture. I refrigerated mine until it was ready to use. Oh, I also added a little bit of cilantro that was leftover from the marinade. I had chopped too much and didn't want to be wasteful.

The recipe (which looks to be originally from www.cookinglight.com) says to cook the chicken on a grill pan. Well, we don’t have one anymore as ours got all wonky from being used in the oven a few too many times so I just used a large pan and sautéed it. I would think that grilling it on a George Foreman grill would be good, too. Anyway, you want to cook the chicken until it is cooked (165 degrees).

Serve the salsa on top of your chicken and enjoy! We also had frozen corn which I mixed with leftover steamed white rice from our Chinese food from the other night. I topped my mixture with some of the salsa and it was yummy! Let me know what you think if you try it!

Mushroom Soup and Jeremy Sisto

In an attempt to be healthy tonight we tried another recipe on Pinterest. We've been out of town for the past weekish and I was ready for home-cooked food instead of Subway or restaurant food. Steven really liked this soup. I'm not the biggest mushroom lover so it was "eh" for me, but if you are fond of mushrooms you should try this. I ended up kind of veering away from healthy to some degree. Steven and I decided that we didn't want the soup by itself so I pan fried a chicken breast for us to share and served the soup over steamed white rice. It was kind of a throwback to my childhood because my mom used to make this same meal except with Campbell's Cream of Mushroom soup. Anyway, even though it was "eh" for me I still felt pretty good about the fact that mushrooms are jam packed full of Vitamin D. There are two cups of chopped mushrooms in the soup, so I hooked it up.

I'm gonna put the recipe down a little ways, but can first can I just talk about Jeremy Sisto? Remember him from "Clueless"? He was El-Un. He was also on "Six Feet Under" and some other stuff, but to me he will always be El-Un. He's in the new show called "Suburgatory", and it is really cute! I think he's doing such a good job with the gal that plays his daughter. So cute! If you haven't seen it, it's about a single dad and his high school aged daughter who move from NYC to the 'burbs and how different their lives are compared to before. The daughter Tessa is played by Jane Levy, and she is adorable. I can see her doing great things with her career...as long as she doesn't go all Lindsay Lohan and stuff.

Okay, so here's the recipe. I got it from Pinterest, but it looks like it was originally from here: http://blog.seasonwithspice.com/2011/12/cream-of-mushroom-soup-recipe.html. But here it is, y'all:

Mushroom Soup

(The above picture is from the website noted above. Mine looked similar..minus the yummy looking bread.)

2 cups fresh mushrooms - cleaned and chopped finely (I used baby bellas and some white mushrooms from Whole Foods)
1 tbsp olive oil
3 cloves garlic - chopped
1 tbsp butter
1 tbsp chopped fresh thyme or 1 teaspoon dried thyme
1 - 2 bay leaf
1 tsp Worcestershire sauce
1 cup chicken or vegetable stock
1 tbsp flour dissolved in 1 tbsp water
Salt to taste
1/2 cup heavy cream
1/2 cup milk
Dash of nutmeg
Black pepper to taste

*I didn't notice that whole heavy cream thing when I was making my grocery list so I just added more milk and more flour...came out fine.
* Also, I used vegetable broth instead of stock and I added a good amount extra to keep the soup from getting too thick.

Here's what you do:

1. Heat olive oil in a sauce pan. Add butter and lightly sauté garlic on medium heat.
2. Add in mushrooms, thyme, bay leaf and Worcestershire sauce. Cook over medium heat for 5 minutes, or until the moisture from the mushrooms disappears.
3. Add in chicken broth. Stir occasionally until broth boils, then reduce heat and simmer for 10 minutes.
4 Add diluted flour and stir constantly (while simmering) until the mixture thickens. Season with salt and nutmeg.
5. Add milk and heavy cream, and bring to a simmer.

Tasty Goodness Lemon Bread

So, can I just say that I love Pinterest? I don’t just like it. I LOVE it. I am addicted and I’ve found myself having to NOT pin things because I feel like I’m over-pinning. I found a sign on there that said “Pinterest = Crack”. I agree. Pinterest is my crack. But it’s so awesome! I love that you can click on one thing and that leads you sooooo many more THINGS….recipes, pictures, clothing ideas, crafting ideas, ideas, ideas, ideas, ideas…..

I happened to find the following recipe on Pinterest (originally from http://ihavetosay.typepad.com/randi/2009/03/recipe.html) and tried it tonight. It was pretty tasty! I am a lover of lemon, so I perked right up when I saw the recipe on my screen. I had never thought of lemon bread! I’ll say that, because I love lemon so much, I’m going to add more lemon zest next time I make this, I think.  Also, the recipe says to wrap the bread up and let it sit for a while after it has cooled and the flavor will enhance. But….that didn’t happen. I cut into that bad boy pretty quickly. I have no willpower. The first picture is the one off Pinterest. It looks better than my picture so I'm going to include it. Mine didn't turn out as pretty, but HEY! Don't judge a bread by what it looks like...and stuff.

Lemon Bread

1-3/4 cups flour
3/4 cups sugar
2 tsp. baking powder
1/4 tsp. salt
1 beaten egg
1 cup milk
1/4 cup cooking oil
2 tsp. shredded lemon peel
1 TB. lemon juice
2 TB. lemon juice
1 TB. sugar

Stir together the flour, 3/4 cup sugar, baking powder and salt. In another bowl combine the egg, milk, oil, and 1 TB. lemon juice. Add the egg mixture to the dry mixture and stir until combined. Add the shredded lemon peel and stir.

Pour batter into greased 8X4X2 inch loaf pan. Bake at 350 degrees for 55 minutes, or until a toothpick inserted in the bread comes out clean.

While the bread is baking, stir the 2 TB. lemon juice and 1 TB. sugar together. Sugar should be dissolved before brushing on the bread.

When the bread is done, brush the lemon juice mixture on the bread (it will seem like a lot, but go ahead and use it all). Cool in the pan for 10 minutes and then remove. Cool completely on a wire rack.

This is clearly my bread. I didn't burn the edges...that's just the lighting. Promise.

It is so good! You can see the flecks of lemon zest.

Let me know what you think if you decide to try it!

What sucked? An SIS sucked...and other news

First off let me say that whoever said that the saline sonogram was “better” than a dye test, they are carazy, or cray cray as my friend, Kyle, would say. I think what is “better” about a saline sono is that it is over much quicker than a dye test. I was done in under ten minutes, whereas the dye test that was done several years back took about twenty minutes, if I remember correctly. BUT even though it’s faster,  the pain and discomfort, it’s like they make sure pack it in to that shorter period of time. I don’t like complaining or indicating that I am in pain or discomfort during procedures like this because I figure that there will (hopefully) be much greater pain in store for me with this whole thing…say, labor. But I confess that I did squeak a few times. Anyway, to sum it up: Better because it’s shorter. Worse because the pain is worse…at least for me it was. I guess the discomfort comes from the fact that they are using a catheter to pump saline into your uterus and tubes to check things out. Cool, huh? HAHA. If I were to describe it I would say that it was like really intense cramping plus feeling like you had to pee really bad.  A word of advice, by the way: Don’t wear skinny jeans the day of this procedure. Just don't.

Results were good though. There were no abnormalities or blockages in my uterus or tubes (yay), though my doctor said that because my body hasn’t been producing estrogen on its own all this time that my uterus could use a little tweaking. I’m to take estrogen pills for thirty days then follow up with Provera for the following ten days. The estrogen will help to expand my uterus and better prime it for pregnancy, and the Provera will initiate a period. At that point I’ll go back in and she’ll determine if she wants me on estrogen for another month. I’m going to stop here and voice my thoughts. On one hand I feel very appreciative that my doctor is being so thorough. I’m really hoping that this will better help her to hone in on a path for us when we do get started with treatment. On the other hand, every time I hear that we’ll be doing something for 30 days I want to scream because that’s ANOTHER month gone by. It’s just me being ready to get this party started. I understand that she has to cover her bases and that this is all necessary. So, that being said, hopefully my uterus will be in better shape in 30 days so we don’t have to wait even longer. But maybe that will be okay, which leads me to my next bit of an update….

So we went to see a urologist Monday afternoon. He was very frank and to the point, which Steven and I both appreciated. We talked about what was going on, described Steven’s lifestyle, and he had a quick examination. Here’s what the urologist is thinking: He is concerned with the volume of the sample that Steven had analyzed by my doctor, so he thinks there might be a blockage of some sort. There was also blood in Steven’s urine sample and he says that might have something to do with his low numbers. So the next step is for Steven to have another semen analysis, an u/s on his prostate (fun), and to have his bladder checked out. All this will be done next Thursday, and hopefully whatever they find will be easily fixable and will lead to better numbers for Steven. The urologist didn’t seem overly alarmed by what he thinks might be going on, otherwise I would think that he wouldn’t wait a week and a half for Steven to be checked out.

Sooooo….more waiting. But the good thing is that we will find out what’s going on with the hubs and he will be on the mend soon. What we’re hoping for is something that is easily fixable and will up his numbers. My doctor told me that if his numbers stay low then they can still work with where he’s at…but that we’ll have to go with IVF. This is not the best news. So for now I will continue to be optimistic and be grateful that my husband is going to be taken care of even if it does not guarantee that his numbers will improve. If that’s the case then we’ll deal with that news when we receive it.  Above anything else, his health is what is more important. And on that note, I’m going to end this post and go try to figure out what the hell my neighbor is cooking. Something that smells pretty bad is seeping through the hallway and under our door. And I’m not liking it, not one stinkin’ (heehee) bit.

And we’re off....

…sort of. I went in Thursday morning for my first round of tests. First  there was an ultrasound to check on whatever follicles might be hanging out. Basically my doctor wants to find out what my body is doing on its own this first round. After the ultrasound I had blood work done. Here is what they are checking on/looking for: levels of estradiol, FSH, anti-mullerian hormone (this hormone is produced by the ovarian follicles and, from what I understand, a woman with lower AMH produces a lower number of oocytes), and prolactin. They also are required to confirm that I don’t have any infectious diseases since I am planning on becoming pregnant: Hepatitis B and C, HIV, Syphilis, and Varicella-Zoster (which I just read is a form of herpes and commonly causes chickenpox in kids and shingles in adults). They are also looking at my TSH, or Thyroid Stimulating Hormone. During my last year or so of taking growth hormone shots I was diagnosed as having hypothyroidism (basically my thyroid was lagging behind; under producing) and was put on pills to balance everything out for that last year. I was interested to find out if all was still well in that area. I heard back from the nurse that afternoon and was told that everything looked good – I am in the “normal” range (yay). The infectious diseases lab work take a little bit longer to get the results back and the nurse told me that no call is good news. I’m obviously not waiting around for a phone call as I know I’m good to go in that department. As a side note, out of the three doctors I’ve been to this is the only organization that requires patients to be screened for infectious diseases. It makes sense as any disease like that would be passed on to my baby should I become pregnant. And probably anyone who has an infectious disease knows they have it…so for anyone to intentionally keep that information from the doctors and proceed with treatment in order to get pregnant, KNOWING that they are going to infect their baby, is pretty jacked up.

Anyway, while I was there I got Steven’s results for his semen analysis. So his numbers are not looking good, in fact they are lower than they were in July. Now, I believe that several factors are contributing to this issue. I know he’s not secretly smoking. I’m not smelling any hint of cigarette smoke on him. If he is smoking then he sure as hell is doing a fantastic job of getting rid of the smell. So I know that’s not it. When I first went in for my initial meeting with my doctor she informed me that it typically takes about three months for sperm reproduction to get going again after a man quits smoking. So it’s possible that his body is still in recovery mode. Also, I was reading online that drastic weight loss can contribute to poor sperm production/count. Over the past year and a half Steven has dropped over one hundred pounds, which is pretty drastic. He drinks caffeine (I do, too, but I’m just saying.) And lastly, Steven has major MAJOR knee problems and requires strong pain meds. So there is a good chance that they are affecting his numbers. In fact, yesterday his doctor told him that the type of pain meds he is on are the ones that will least hurt his liver and reproductive organs. “Least affect”…so that means that they are probably affecting him. Okay, we don’t know this for sure obviously. I’m just saying that there are several things that could be working together to cause this problem. Oh, plus he had been taking Clomid close to when he had his numbers checked last time so that may have been helping his numbers then. We have an appointment with a urologist Monday to get him checked out. I know that he’s concerned that there might be something wrong, but I’m just not going there at this point. He is a healthy person and has made several positive changes over the past year and a half so it’s pretty disheartening for him to find out that his numbers are lower than in July. But at the same time, I hope and pray that there is nothing wrong. We’ll begin the investigation on that Monday afternoon.

As for me, I go back to the doctor Monday morning for a Saline Infused Sonogram (SIS), which is where saline will be injected into my uterus to extend it so that they can check things out more clearly. This will allow them to check out my uterus and also to make sure my fallopian tubes are clear and open. Several years ago I had something similar done to check my tubes and it was not the most fun thing ever. I’ve been reassured that this will be less painful, but the way I look at it (and that first tube check) is that this is just part of the process. Plus, should I be blessed with a pregnancy I’ll be facing much more painful “stuff” with a delivery. I say this now, but watch, the SIS will kill me Monday morning and I’ll be like, “Holy crap, Y’all! That was horrible and I couldn’t walk afterwards!”

Now for how I’m feeling. I’m not going to lie. I was really upset when I got Steven’s results. I know I KNOW that those results don’t mean that we are done, shutting down the show, etc, but it was still upsetting to learn that there is one more hurdle to jump in this process. I also know that I could be and might be facing much more difficult news later during this process, but in the moment it just wasn’t processed well. I held it together in the doctor’s office, but when I got back to my car I just broke down and had a mini pity party. Luckily it had been snowing all morning and I had privacy – my own little snow globe of a car – and could just cry without worrying about people seeing me. Several times I thought “Why?” and I’m not going to feel bad for asking that question. I’m just not. Yes, our situation could be much worse, but this is what we’re facing and it’s all relative. So I had my pity party, posted a could-be vague status on Facebook to vent, and then started to pull myself together…partially because I needed to start the process of looking forward and also because I didn’t want to have to dig my car out of the snow that was still piling up. Have to be practical, right? So anyway, I know that things could be worse. You can sit there and say, “Oh, well that’s nothing. Here’s what WE had to go through.” But for my own emotional and psychological state, I’m going to let myself feel any emotions that come my way during this process. This is an incredibly emotional process, and to be honest, I really don’t let myself think too far below the surface most of the time. I take a “Here’s what we’re going to do…” attitude and just go with it. I don’t sit and think about this not working because there’s no reason to think that way yet. But sometimes I hit a snag and I feel like it’s best to let myself go with those snags and work through however I’m feeling. That’s just me though. On top of that it’s like, okay, I’m bringing all my baggage to the table (that whole not being able to ovulate thing) and now we have to deal with this on top of it? Not fair! (Again, I KNOW THAT THINGS COULD BE WORSE.)

So that’s where we’re at now. I’m still trying to do better with caffeine and my diet (I will not allow myself to regret that delicious half of a chocolate pistachio cannoli I ate at lunch) . But y’all, it just plain sucks! And exercising? I need to get into gear and just GO TO THE GYM. It only got to freakin’ 16 degrees today. There’s no stinkin’ way I’m walking more than I have to outside, so I need to just bite the bullet and go to the gym. There’s always tomorrow…